June 13, 2007

  • There is so much to report, I can't possibly write it all down. I haven't even been chatting online so I can't copy and paste it either. In a nutshell, Mom went to a lawyer on Friday to ask if she could get me ejected from her house, and her lawyer said yes. That afternoon we went to Dad's lawyer, Pauline, for a formal will reading to explain everything to my mom. Dorian joined us, and fortunately Dorian and Pauline are old friends. Pauline also has a degree in social work and used to be a nurse, so she was great with Mom and understands the situation. Mom spent the whole time attacking me, and everything Pauline told her, mom said it wasn't true. She had no comprehension of what was being said to her. They managed to convince her not to throw me out for two months and we'd have a meeting in August to decide how to proceed.

    Gilly and I went camping on the weekend, and managed not to cry for a 24-hour period on Saturday. We both cried when we burned the last of Dad's chequebooks while the others were at the beach in the middle of the night. I was feeling very lonely, and to make matters worse the two people I was sharing a tent with ended up getting cozy on the beach and were all giddy and snuggly when they returned. In the morning somebody asked her what happened and she started to gush, and i just burst into tears and said I couldn't listen to it. Normally it would have been fine, but right now I can't have someone telling me how great it is to be with someone when I feel so alone. Fortunately my friends didn't take offence, and Laura and Rob ended up spending quite  along time listening to me tell them about all the things that are happening and my worries.

    When I got home after camp, the living room was so full of crap Mom had bought at yard sales I couldn't walk in the door. She was mostly civil to me that evening and the next morning. While Gilly was still there Mom admitted to us that she had packed up Dad's clothes and given it to the church rummage sale while we were away. She said she decided to do it without telling us so as not to upset us. This is ridiculous logic as clearly we'd be more upset if she gave away something important to us without saying anything and didn't give us the opportunity to keep what we wanted. However, it's fortunate that Gilly and i don't feel a connection to his clothes other than his funny hats. We said we might have kept one of his ugly ties and I would like his hankies because I have a constantly runny nose. Anyway, today I called Dorian and he told me that he and Carolyn (the Rector's Warden) had decided to hang onto the clothes and let me know what Mom had done. I thanked him and said we'd go take a look, but that mom had admitted it and we had given our blessing to give away the clothes as long as they went to charity. I told Carolyn that any leftovers from the sale could go to the men's shelter, and she said she would look after that.

    Mom told us on Friday that she would be going on holiday to Sherkston, as she saw an ad in the paper and she got a little cottage thing in a family resort for $120 if she went Monday to Friday. She told us all defiantly as if we were going to stop her, but honestly I was glad she was going. My only problem with it all is that she took the child molester with her. To a family resort full of children. I can only hope that since school is still on there won't be many families there this week. Gilly told Mom to make sure she never lets him out of her sight.

    I left a mesage for Vijay on Friday saying I would take Monday off to relax since Mom was going away. However, when Monday came I ended up spending 6 hours on the compute,r trying to make up a coherent record of Mom's behaviour from the last three months to take to the Justice of the Peace. I forgot to eat anything until I went out to the walk-in clinic to see the doctor and ask him again if he would form her and save me the stress. He said when he saw her on Friday he couldn't get enough information out of her to form her, and her story is the same as always, that I'm making things up just to get her hospitalised. So my only option is to do this myself, and hope that I can convince the JP that she's dangerous to herself and/or others. Dorian is going with me to offer his support and input. The worker at the hospital told me that I can request a financial capability evaluation while she's hospitalised, and in that case it could be done without explaining it to her and getting her consent. If she's found incapable then, Public Guardian would be notified and they in turn would contact me and Gilly and ask us to take on Power of Attorney.

    Anyway, while I was waiting to see the doctor I was feeling so overwhelmed I called DQ. I got the answering machine and left an incoherent message about not knowing when i could return to work, and saying I'd probably be off the rest of the week.

    Janet phoned me this morning, Vijay's not happy with me for cancelling again. She said he left me a message last night, which I didn't know was there because my cell didn't indicate it. Vijay's message said that I've caused him big problems by cancelling again, and that maybe I should go back to the YMCA employment office. I spoke to Dorian and he said he'd talk to Vijay as he goes in there all the time and they know each other, but honestly I don't see when I can go back to work at all.
    The counsellor at the hospital said I should apply for EI sickness
    benefits for depression, and I said I was worried that would screw me
    out of provincial services like it did last time.
    I called the ODSP office today and was told if I applied there first
    and then for EI it would be better, and the guy I spoke to took an
    application over the phone. He told me they require me to apply for CPP Disability too, so now I have to do that.  So I'm back in this cycle of applying for things I may never get.

    Dorian
    said the church ladies are all asking what they can do to help, and I
    said maybe they could help with the cleaning if anybody could come over
    before Friday.  I figure I have to do th living room myself, but the kitchen could be done by anyone really. So Carolyn is going to try to get some ladies to volunteer to come in tomorrow and Friday morning, and hopefully we can cover the living room and kitchen in that time. I'd like to tackle the bathroom, but I doubt I'll get to it. I need to eat something, and call CPP and start the application for that. I have a feeling this is going to be another exercise in futility, a huge waste of time and result in me going back into debt. I am terrified.