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armedwithjello
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Name: Ali
Country: Canada
State: Ontario
Metro: Kitchener
Gender: Female
Interests: Scouting, volunteer work, women's rights activism, Humane Society, sleep disorders, gay rights, my web sites, travelling, movies, dancing to a different beat!
Expertise: Silliness, cartoons, crazy costumes, loud music, budget travel, daily adventures, volunteerism, hairdressing, abstract thought, open-mindedness, standing up for my beliefs, internet life, making friends out of strangers.
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
Member Since:
10/4/2002
 Lifetime
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| Well, I spent 8 days off my meds and then started back on them, and so far, so good. I'm still kind of dopey at times, but then that's narcolepsy for you. I am starting to settle into my new routine, although it's weird. I'm pretty much sleeping from 2PM or 3PM until around 6PM, then up all evening, and sleeping again about 2AM to 8AM. That's still 11-12 hours of sleep per day, but at least I can make it work so I can work in the morning and go out in the evenings. My gym schedule is suffering but I'll sort that out as I go.
The job itself is awesome. I'm still taking baby steps as far as I'm concerned, but Jamie and Scott say I've hit the ground running. I'm still not 100% on the support part of things, but there aren't many calls coming to me yet. To make use of my time, Jamie sends me things to brainstorm and to write up for the web site. Every time I respond to her with all the ideas in my head she raves about how fantastic I am. My trial period ends this Friday, and we are 100% going ahead with my official employment starting next week. Hooray!!!
On my first day of work, I quickly discovered that my 15" LCD monitor is simply not big enough to see everything properly when I'm remotely accessing a client's computer. I'm trying to find a program that will pay for a new 22" monitor for me, although I'm running into the typical buck-passing roadblocks that come with government programs. I am also looking for funding for a proper office chair, although if it comes down to it I can buy that myself, or the company might do it for me.
So things are going well, communication is good, and I'm feeling very friendly with Jamie, as I work with her the most. We have success!
This past weekend was very busy, and very enjoyable. On Friday night Gilly and I went to Mitun's bachelorette party, which involved 6 girls drinking bubbly and taking a chair dancing lesson. We had a blast, and Mitun was an awesome dancer. I have seen a few photos, and am still waiting on the video! After the class, three of us went to the Rum Runner pub and met up with a whole whack of people for a few hours of crazy (largely dirty) conversation and playing with a 4-month-old baby that someone had brought along. Somebody handed the baby to Gilly, who was moderately drunk, and it was pretty funny. She was entertaining us and the baby by making a stuffed beanie zebra perform our chair dancing routine on the table top. Also, the question of the night was, "Have you ever been licked within an inch of your life?"
Saturday morning, we met with a bunch of the pub people from Friday night and had breakfast at a nearby diner. The wedding began at noon, but I was a few minutes late as I was waiting for Cam to come in on the bus from Toronto. He was so late due to traffic snarls, I gave him directions to walk to the wedding and meet me there. I managed to get quite a good photo of the ceremony from close-up as I passed an open door at the side of the room where the wedding took place. Then I sat near the back of the room with Gilly and Al and watched the rest of the ceremony.
Oh my, was it ever beautiful. A red and gold canopy hung overhead. Mitun wore a red and gold sari with a white headdress which had Ganesh on it. Her hands and feet were covered in mehndi. On Friday night Mitun told us that she had Luc's name hidden in the mehndi on her hand, and tradition says that if the groom can't find his name on the wedding night, he must give the bride present. I couldn't see Luc's name even when she pointed to it, so I'm certain he was unable to pick it out himself!
I saw photos afterward, and saw the fantastic palanquin in which Mitun was carried down the aisle to the canopy. It was white with white flower strands hanging down from the sides. Mitun's brother and other male relatives carried her down the aisle. Her parents gave her away to Luc by placing her right hand in his right hand and declaring their blessing. The ceremony continued with 13 steps, including walking 7 times around a small fire. Luc had gone to Oktoberfest the night before as his bachelor party, and although he had gotten very, very drunk he had woken with no hangover. He said he got a bit dizzy and woozy while circling the fire, but managed not to let on.
The Hindu ceremony was followed by a brief Catholic ceremony, after which the couple and family promptly retreated for photos outside. It was a beautiful day, so I'm sure they got some lovely shots. I have seen a couple of them already, and am dying to see the rest!
We had 3 hours to kill between the wedding and the reception, so Gilly, Al, Cam, and I returned to my place to relax. Al went straight to bed, as he is really, really sick with mono. Last week he was diagnosed with both strep and mono at the same time, and he managed to finish his antibiotics before the wedding. Still, his glands are so swollen you can see them sticking out of his neck. He has difficulty speaking and swallowing. I keep calling him Typhoid Mary because he refuses to take the necessary time off work to get better. He complains he's used up all his sick days and "can't afford" to take time off, but he's catastrophising (as he does) and claiming he's going to lose everything. Seriously, the guy has a big pile of money saved up for a down-payment on a house, and if he takes a couple of weeks off to get better he's not going to be financially ruined. But anyway...
We went to the reception at 6PM, and when Cam and I walked in I met all four parents for the first time in the receiving line. luc's mother asked how I knew the couple, and I happily introduced myself as the matchmaker. All four of them got noisy and were very happy, thanking me for putting them together. Luc's dad said he'd send me the wedding bill. LOL! I hugged both Mitun and Luc, and told them how happy I was that they turned out to be so good together.
The reception was awesome. Speeches were kept relatively short, but they were very touching. Mitun's uncle made a lovely speech about Mitun's non-traditional ways, and how happy the family was when she said she wanted to have a traditional Hindu ceremony. He also talked about the wonderful melding of cultures that had happened that day, and how people from such different backgrounds celebrating together was representative of what is great about our country. Luc's dad expressed how happy they were to have such a beautiful new daughter, and how proud he was to see his son marry her. The funniest speech of the night came from the best man, who said that while the man wear the pants in a relationship, the woman holds the zipper. Touché!
Dancing was begun with the couple, the parents, and the wedding party as usual, and then everyone was invited to dance. The music mainly consisted of Indian dance music mixed with American dance and pop music. It was just amazing! I got to use my bellydance moves a lot that night, and danced so hard I found myself torn between dancing and drinking water so I didn't collapse from dehydration. The dancing ended at midnight, after which we hugged everybody good night and headed home. I think that was the best weeding I've ever been to! It's particularly special because I know Luc and Mitun won't take each other for granted, since they spent so much of their lives without dating and wishing to find someone very special to be with. Thinking about them makes me feel all fluffy inside! <3
Anyway, busy week ahead, so I'd better sign off for now.
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| Today is Day 1 of my "medication holiday". That is a term commonly used among narcoleptics, used to describe a few days of not taking stimulants in order to reduce you tolerance. I have not taken a medication holiday on over a year, although I've needed one for quite some time. The last couple of months, I've found my meds to be less and less effective at keeping me awake. Now i'm biting the bullet and doing it, since I have two weeks until I start my new job and I need my drugs to work!
I don't remember being anything but sleepy last time I did this. Today, however, I am giddy beyond control. Everything is funny, even things that aren't really funny. Al came over half an hour ago, and Gilly said, "I warn you, Ali's off her meds on purpose, and she's a total retard right now." I burst out laughing. While at times Gilly's been a bit annoyed with me, she has also gotten caught up in my silliness and we have had some good fun today.
Funny things:
The song "That Smell" by Lynyrd Skynyrd
Freecycle OFFER: Petcetera Small Love Harness for Dogs up to 7 kg
Blackberry Solitaire
Gilly being redundant
Hot dogs
Waffles being a "Wookie bear"
Al having eight balls on his boxers
I was supposed to go to Concordia Club for dinner with a Meetup group tonight, but I decided I'm too weird to go. I'm in a fog, eyes won't fully focus and I'm easily confused. Woke up this morning at 9AM, had tea, went back to bed at 10:15AM. Slept until 3PM. Had a breakfast of cheese dogs and soup. Sent D a crazy hot-dog-related text message. Did a few dishes. Got silly and sat down again. Lasagna pending.
I'm hoping 4 or 5 days of this will be enough to reset me. I'm sure the giddiness will wear off at some point
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| Got an e-mail this morning saying my start date will be October 1. Huzzah!
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| I believe I've neglected to mention that I will soon be employed.. Huzzah! I'll be working from home doing remote access tech support for a company here in town. This is an established company, owned by a married couple. However, this job is the result of a project they have thought up.
They decided they wanted to try to create jobs for people with disabilities who are otherwise unemployable. They intend to have people work from home and accommodate their limitations in order to provide meaningful, well-paid work. This is perfect for me, as I have quite a lot of experience and technical knowledge, and love to tinker with computers and learn new things. When I get really stuck, I call Luc and pick his brain, and he says he enjoys trying to fix my problems because I only take interesting things to him. He teaches me a lot without even trying! Because of this, I used him as a reference, and I gather he gave a glowing report of my and my abilities. Thanks Luc!
So I'm the first to be hired out of five expected hires.I've been told that although they're searching for others, I'm the only one who has applied that appears to have the technical ability to do the job. Another man, a quadriplegic, has been hired to demonstrate the process in order to sell the idea to clients. I hear he's really cool, and I look forward to meeting him.
The employers seem awesome. I've spoken with them on the phone many times, and finally met them last week. They're straightforward people who value communication and the ability to learn without formal schooling. They were interested enough in helping me that they checked out my sleep site and read a bit about narcolepsy. They also asked if I needed special equipment (I don't) and what else I would need. I said I could work about 20 hours a week, and would like to stick to weekdays and on a fairly regular schedule. They were totally on board with that plan. What a rare find!
In addition to that, they offered me some home learning materials, which I can study at my own pace and then take tests for certain kinds of certifications. That's very much of interest to me, because training sounds good but I'm always concerned about the idea of paying for courses I might just sleep through. If I can study the materials and then just pay for the tests, I think I could do really well. I do need to start out with swotting upon some things that I didn't quite pass on the trial with the boss, but it's nothing I won't pick up quickly with some notes and repetition. Once I'm doing it regularly, I won't have a problem recalling what I need to know.
So my anxiety about starting this particular job is minimal. We have mutually decided to do a trial period where Scott (one of the owners) will be on the calls with me to make sure I know what I'm doing. This will also allow me to get a feel for my suitability for the job and my comfort level in dealing with clients. Even once the trial period is over, Scott will always be available if I get stuck on something. I have also requested keeping the lines of communication open so that we can problem-solve any shortcomings I may have or difficulties I might have with the owners so we can just say things honestly and constructively. I like to know exactly where I stand and what's expected of me, so I can strive to reach and exceed those expectations. I suspect we'll all work very well together, and I'm excited about the whole thing. I don't yet know when I'm going to start work, as there are still things Jamie and Scott need to figure out. However, they're keeping me informed of their process and I'm totally confident that the job will come through.
I figure the very worst possible outcome from this is I try it out, it doesn't work out, and we can say we gave it an honest try and part with no hard feelings. I won't lose my disability pensions from trying it out. At the absolute best, I stand to improve my finances, get some training, and work in a flexible job that could even potentially turn into a career. There is nothing here to lose, and infinite possibilities for gain in so many aspects of my life. It's also good for the self-esteem, because of course the first thing people ask when they meet me is "What do you do?" I have two standard responses:
"I don't!"
"I'm a professional volunteer."
People aren't sure what to say when I tell them I have a disability, although with a brief explanation they seem to relax. Still it would be very nice to be able to say I have a REAL job that doesn't involve a drive-through window or a hairnet. I could actually feel like an adult for a change! Yes, I'm 30, but there are still so many rites of passage I've missed out on. I've come a long way in the past year, and it's only getting better! (knock wood)
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| I met someone great at Abstract on Friday. My attention was held by self-confidence and an unconventional sort of physical attractiveness. I took a risk after a brief exchange, handed over my card and said "You're intriguing, I'd like to hear from you." My boldness was rewarded with a huge smile and eyes that lit up and made me feel all warm and fuzzy. 
I got a call Sunday morning. Went for coffee last night, it went great. Unlike the last person I successfully hit on while dancing, D is intelligent, funny, liberal-minded, and easy to talk to. We stayed out until sometime after 1AM, thoroughly enjoying each other's company and the fun conversation we had. The attraction is clearly mutual, and we agreed we'd like to see each other again. Yay! The weird part is...D is MtF transgender.
So this is new to me, although I'm not uncomfortable with the idea. Mainly my concern is making sure I don't make assumptions or be inadvertently disrespectful. When I met D in the club, she was wearing a woman's shirt, eyeliner and two earrings. I asked about her tattoo on her arm, and she said it represented a goddess of change. I told her it was beautiful (it was) and the rest of the night, although we weren't dancing together, we kept catching each other's eyes. She was dancing with a female friend, but as they weren't touching I assumed they were not a couple. Turns out I was right.
Anyway, a friend saw me hand D my card, and he said to me, "You didn't just give your card to the gay guy, did you?" I told him I did give my card to someone, but that I'm simply interested in knowing "his" story (not knowing gender identity at the time, I referred to D as male) and would really like to make contact later. Although I have never had any Trans friends, I am very aware that gender and sexual orientation are two separate aspects of a person, and the only thing I knew for sure was that I wanted to see this person again.
Last night, we shared our personal stories. I learned that D is MtF, but only realised she was female three years ago after a marriage and two children. The kids are still pretty young and call her Mummy D, which I think is just awesome. Her wife wasn't so understanding, but they split up and share custody. I also learned that while D identifies as female, she is still attracted to women, as well as Transmen and Transwomen.
Through the evening, D kept asking what I was thinking, and later got more specific in asking what I had hoped for when I handed her my card. I said I hoped she'd call, and I'd get to know her and see what happened. She said she'd never had anyone give her a card like that before, and it made her feel great to be hit on for the first time while wearing the clothes she liked wearing. I did tell her I found her attractive, and more so after our conversation. She was pleased but also confused, as she was concerned that I was only really seeing her masculine looks and not the person inside. It's a fair concern, as I still don't really know her. I reminded her that this was a new situation for me too, and that I'd just like to see her again and get to know her better. I don't know what will come of it, but certainly we could be good friends if nothing else.
As an added bonus, D is in hairdressing school, and I need highlights! She's a good dancer, an actor, and a reiki practitioner. She must be cool with cats as there was one in the window at her house when I dropped her off. She's into obscure indie movies. Most of all, she's genuine, which is hard to find. Dating a Trans person has never really come to mind for me, but honestly, is she has all the important qualities I'm looking for, I'm happy to explore the idea. Today, I'm feeling happy.
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