Somebody on Freecycle just asked for a cigarette smoke detector. I've never heard of such a thing, so I Googled.

I am very impressed with this concept. These should be installed in doorways of hospitals and malls, under awnings and on patios. There should also be one between the doors leading to our underground parking garage and another just inside and outside those doors. People keep lighting up there, and the smoke just hangs. Wait until you get in your fucking car, you idiots!

Edit: Upon further inspection, I see that's a fake sprinkler disguising a detector. I think it should be an actual sprinkler that activated when someone lights up!

As you may know, I've been taking bellydance lessons for the past few months. On February 10, I will be raising money for Heart and Stroke by participating in a "Shimmy-a-thon".

Please support Heart and Stroke by pledging your support! http://secure.heartandstroke.ca/faf/donorReg/donorPledge.asp?ievent=259991&supId=178706594

I can't believe it... the one Hollywood hunk I tended to get quite gooey over was found dead only 5 hours ago. Heath Ledger was only 28, and it looks like an overdose of sleeping pills. I'm not sure what to make of it, but I'm in a state of disbelief.

Last night Mom was telling us that she was telling the mobility bus driver where to drive and where to drop her off, and he got really angry with her and said "You're always yelling at me!" She said she was only telling him to stop right in front of the door to the Aurora Legion, 'because that's where I needed to go." Never mind that it would likely have blocked the door, the driveway, and/or a fire route.

I told her she can't tell the driver where to go, because he has rules he has to follow and nothing she can say can make it OK for him to break those rules
But she doesn't understand, she just thinks he's a psycho. Multiple bus drivers get angry with her, and she doesn't understand why.

Nope, there's nothing wrong with my mother. It's everyone else on the planet that's crazy.

Somebody just posted this message on my Facebook Funwall. I had to air my thoughts on it.

I feel awful for this little baby girl. Not just because of how she died, but because BOTH her parents and their families were too stupid and selfish to make sure she was cared for. Seriously, if you don't want or know how to care for a baby, GIVE HER UP FOR ADOPTION. Leave her at a hospital, church, police station, Children's Aid, ANYTHING. The mother either lacks a basic education or is so disinterested in being taken seriously in spreading her message, she couldn't even write her story coherently. She's sitting there in the photo, crying because her daughter is dead, but didn't bother to make sure the baby was being properly cared for. What kind of mother leaves her baby and then doesn't make sure she's getting proper care? I may sound callous and insensitive, but people like this should be forcibly sterilised to avoid further children suffering at their hands. The father should also be sterilised. Both parents, and the father's family members who participated in the neglect should be charged and punished for not providing the necessities of life. I don't know where the mother's family was in all this, so I can't comment on them. Perhaps she had no family. I don't know. But that's about all I have to say on the matter. I just had to say it.

Gilly and I had an excellent weekend with Laura and Melanie. Laura had a housewarming party in Barrie last night, and we spent the evening eating desserts and playing Pictionary and Dutch Blitz. We went to bed quite late,and today Laura, Gilly and I went to Collingwood to spend the afternoon at a spa. Blue Mountain has a new spa they call Le Scandinave, and it's freaking awesome. Three hot baths and three cold baths, all of varying temperatures, hot and cold waterfalls, sauna, eucalyptus steam room, fireplace... all OUTDOORS. We froze our feet on the deck stones, lounged in the hot water and put snow on each other's heads. There were three indoor relaxation rooms with relaxing music, Muskoka chairs and large picture windows so you could relax and look at nature, or sit and read. All indoor facilities were completely silent, that is, nobody is allowed to speak. Conversation is allowed in the outdoor pools, but only if kept on the quiet side. It was very relaxing, and we were reluctant to leave after six hours there. We went to Kelsey's for dinner, during which Mom phoned and told us highway 400 was closed in both directions due to a 100-car pileup. We managed to find an alternate route with the help of a waitress, and we got home safely at 1:30AM, with a brief visit at Mom's place on the way home.

And now, to bed. Why do I keep staying up so late?

You were mine


In the back of my mind


Oh just for one night


Just for a while




There's always one that gets away


The one that sneaks up on you that slips away




Two weeks later I was sitting in his apartment


He was making cappuccino


I said what kind of man makes cappuccino


We laughed


We laughed


We laughed


We laughed 'til tears ran down my face




Oh but my man you're someone else's man


And that ain't the man that I want


But you keep drawing me in with those big brown lion eyes




You'll always be mine


In the back of my mind


Oh we had a night


Just a little wine




There's always one that gets away


The one that sneaks up on you that slips away




In a closed off corner of my heart yes


I'll always see your face


The one that got away



I'm not a victim of clich廥


I don't believe in soul mates


Happy endings only one


Oh and I met you and all that changed


I had a taste and you're still sitting on the tip of my tongue

 - Pink; "The One That Got Away"

I haven't written in a while, I've been too busy, but there's so much to say. I was in bed but my mind is spinning.

Last week, I caved. No thanks to Gilly, who caved first. We're going to Cancun, but I said I would only go if we didn't have to share a room with Mom. om agreed to book a second room, and when I found out the trip wasn't all-inclusive but was told it wouldn't cost much more to make it so, I asked Mom to do that too instead of buying meals separately. Somehow, this $600 "special" price for these resorts (in exchange for us sitting through a 90-minute sales pitch for membership in their club) inflated to $2200, when booking for 3 adults instead of 2 and 2 kids, and a second room, and all-inclusive. Then there was the airfare. Mom paid $2100 for three round-trip tickets to Cancun, and may have to pay for a fourth seat because her ass is so big she likely won't fit in just one. The agent told her she can pay for an extra seat at the airport if need be.

So she paid for her passport and mine, but not Gilly's as she had already paid for her own. She phoned me a few days ago asking if we wanted hepatitis vaccines, and I said yes, we both wanted Hep A vaccines. So she got prescriptions and bought is the vaccines, at $127 total for the first of two shots. When I went shopping for a new bathing suit, she paid for my new hot pink bikini before I managed to get my clothes back on in the changeroom. I bought new glasses and sunglasses (the first in three years), subsidised by ODSP, and Mom paid the remaining $350 ODSP didn't cover.

Not that I'm complaining about this.

However, she recently sent me $1000 because I told her I was in debt. When I called to thank her she asked me if it covered my debt, and I said no. She asked how much was left, and I checked and reported back, $1700. I also told her about the dentist saying I need a dental appliance because I've been grinding my teeth. So a few days later mom asked if I'd gotten a cheque in the mail. I hadn't, and still haven't. She told me it was for $2300, and I thanked her for it and told her how much it would help me out. I was pleased that I would be back at zero again and would be able to start saving for spending money for Cancun, and to pay for my choir trip in July.

Yesterday Mom called me and told me not to cash the cheque she sent me, because her bank account is completely maxed out. She said she paid extra money onto her Mastercard because she had charged the whole trip to it, and as a result her bank account is empty. She then tried to get the bank to cash in yet another RRSP, and they said they couldn't because the ones that remain are locked in. So she was finally ready to give me the money I so desperately need, and she's maxed it all out. Sure, she has several thousand dollars each month of guaranteed income, but she's already spent at least next month's, from what she's telling me.

So I don't know what else happened, but she called me at midnight tonight and said she took the bus to Aurora because she had to go to the bank and talk to them about some things. I asked why she didn't just take care of it by phone, and she said she needed to be there in person because things with the bank are "strained". So now I'm wondering what the hell she's done that would require her to go in person to sort it out. I wonder how many other cheques she's bounced? I checked my bank account tonight to see if the money she gave me for the glasses was still there, and it is, but it's only been three days so it may not have been returned yet. I'll have to keep an eye on it.

Gru. The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away. Or something like that.

So I'm back home now, and New Year's Eve went off well. There were eight of us here partying, and despite having a bad cold I had a good time. Tomorrow Gilly will have the last of the giant ham for lunch at work, and we still have half a trifle and an open bottle of bubbly on the balcony waiting to be consumed. Happy new year, everybody!

I am also told that I just missed Mitun's birthday, although it was not my fault as she neglected to advertise it on Facebook. So I'll say it here, HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY MITUN!!!

I saw my December credit card bill today, an nearly shat myself. It appears I somehow miscalculated my payments last month and underpaid my enormous bill, leaving me with a fair chunk of interest owing and my huge Christmas shopping bill combined with leftover pre-Christmas shopping. Ugh. I knew I was in the hole, but not by this much! Then I got a letter from the MTO saying I need to renew my license plates on Dad's birthday, which is in March. I'll put it off as long as possible. Fortunately I don't need a Drive Clean test.

Gilly will be paying me a big chunk of money she owes for her new computer, and for the Zazu vet bills she currently holds the money for. I have to take my ODSP forms to the office tomorrow to get reimbursed for gas money for months of doctors' appointments, and I'll have to do my taxes as soon as I can manage it to get my refund. At least I've got everything I need/want right now, and the freezer is well-stocked so I'm hoping to not spend money on much of anything this month (famous last words!). I'll have to get creative with the cooking to dissuade us from eating out. Oh, I should also be getting a GST rebate any day now, so I'll have to watch out for that. Oh, the perils of leaving home and being tempted to spend!

I called mom this afternoon to ask her about something regarding the estate funds. I mentioned my debt and that I wouldn't be able to afford to go to Mexico with her, especially since I have to figure out how to pay for Nova Scotia in July. She said if I backed out on Nova Scotia she'd pay for everything for Mexico and Florida, including my passport and meals and stuff. I voiced my concerns that we would fight, and that the trip would be ruined for all of us because we would be stuck sharing a room. It's bad enough sharing a house with her, I sure as hell don't want to share a hotel room for two weeks! She's incontinent enough without  Montezuma's Revenge adding to it. Eeeuuuuuugh...

Mom was insistent. She said Gilly wouldn't want to sit around looking at her through the whole trip, and besides, didn't I want to see Disney World? Honestly, I couldn't care less about Disney World. it's just a tourist trap. I'd much rather just sit on the beach and look for menfolk. Mexico sounds appealing, but not with Mom, and I know Gilly was hoping for a holiday without me, which is totally understandable. I asked Mom what would happen if between now and then she started to hate me again, and she said she'd make sure that didn't happen and that it doesn't happen on the trip. i don't believe that for a moment.

So I'm applying for a passport while it's on Mom's dime, so if I decide to go somewhere in the next 5 years I am prepared. I'll have to ask the doctor if he plans to tell her outright about not getting her license back, and if he knows a time frame for that. Anyway, if she's paying for the tickets and stuff, if she decides to hate me/us before the trip it'll be her money lost, not mine, so it's not that big of a risk as far as that goes. I'm still not comfortable with the security in a room shared with mom, given that she's liable to flash money around and wear fancy clothes and make herself an easy target for robbery. Gilly and I already told her she can't take her rings or they'll be stolen, and that she will be offered free things in exchange for listening to high-pressure time share pitches and stuff. Still, you can be arrested in Mexico for something as simple as spitting on the sidewalk. She could ram someone with her rental scooter or end up falling in the street and being mugged, and it's not like here where she can just ask a stranger to call her an ambulance.

So many worries... I wouldn't be able to relax on such a trip even if she did behave herself, because I'd constantly be waiting for the shit to fly. If/when the shit does fly, I'd be trapped in another country, in the same hotel room, unable to get help or escape. In Florida, there's always the possibility of finding a hostel with Gilly to escape to. I'll have to research the area for such things.

Now, Gilly is researching her own holiday, and if she books her own elsewhere it will be a lot easier for me to wrangle out of travelling with Mom. Staying home alone is preferable to being stuck with Mom as described above. I get the feeling Mom wants me to go mainly because she knows Gilly won't go if I don't. Not going won't hurt me at all, because I told Mom that no matter what, I'm not cancelling my choir trip, even if I have to pay for it out of my line of credit and get further into debt. I am determined to go, and that's that. I hope to at least pay off my debt by then and pay for the trip itself with my portion of the estate funds. I'll pay things off eventually, one way or another.

Argh. Constant manipulation. I need a stun gun for this monkey on my back.

After much waiting, here is the video you've been waiting for!

Yes, I'm up way too late. I took a 3 1/2 hour nap this evening, and now I'm wide awake. I wish this strategy worked during the day.

Christmas: I nearly broke my ankle shortly after arriving at Mom's place on Christmas eve. She had ignored my previous requests for her to store her vaccuum somewhere other than the doorway to the living room, and as a result I tripped on it on my way to the bathroom and landed in a pile of spilled cat litter on the carpet. I eventually managed to get up and hobble over to the corner armchair, where I put my feet up and fell asleep with a bag of frozen corn on my ankle while Gilly made supper on her own.

Supper turned out well. Mom didn't want the carrots Gilly put on her plate, and we ended p having a carrot fight across the table. It was fun, but Gilly stopped it because she didn't want carrots squishing under her feet later. After two bites of supper, Mom toddled off to the bedroom and returned with Dad's ashes. She said we might think it weird, but she didn't feel right having Christmas dinner without Dad. I agreed, and admitted I'd been thinking about doing the same. She put him on the chair next to her and ate her supper.

During dessert, Mom started asking questions about Dad. We told her about conversations we had with him in hospital that she wasn't aware of. She didn't know we both knew about the cancer before she did, or that I had found out by accident and Dad had asked me to keep it a secret. We discussed a lot of things, and cried in our trifle. There was no animosity at all, just sharing our long-held secrets.

Mom told us we had to open one present that night. It turned out to be Super Scrabble, which has double the letter tiles and a board almost double the size with quadruple word scores and such. We played right away, it took 90 minutes for one game, and for a change we both kicked Mom's ass. I was in the lead until right at the end when Gilly somehow bypassed me. Mom was flabbergasted that we finally beat her. She tried to cheat as usual, this time using French words as the theme. She kept trying to use "baguette", but misspelled it both times, each time differently. I also used the word "nobler" and Mom said it needed another L in it, prompting lots of laughter. We also taught Mom the words "queef", "quim", and "taint".

On Christmas morning we woke at 8:30AM and had tea, plum pudding and custard for breakfast, then opened presents. Mom really liked the CD player boom box we gave her, although I doubt she'll figure out how to use it. She gave us a really awesome remote control Dalek that speaks and exterminates, and a large glass bong that is the most inappropriate gift I've ever been given. We've decided to use it as a vase.

All three of us fell asleep in our chairs after opening presents, and we woke at nearly 1PM. I called our cousin Andrew in England and we passed the phone around, and then Gilly and I took off to Ellen and Brian's for our other family Christmas. We were greeted with very full stockings, a table laid out with muchies, and big thanks for the gifts we gave everyone. Brian was really excited that we'd replaced the lamp they'd broken ages ago, and Ellen was happy for a new popcorn popper. Chris and Mike couldn't wait to drink their beers from their fancy matching glasses, and it turned out the beer was just their taste. We had a great turkey dinner and ad lots of drinks as well.

I slept until 2PM on Boxing Day, only getting up after Gilly woke me twice and informed me of the time. I could have slept all day. I didn't even stay up that late the night before, I guess I just overdid the partying. We went to Mom's place and helped Mike and Monica move Mom's unwanted mattress downstairs and into Mike's truck. Gilly took me to Jenn's house and I had dinner with them, and thoroughly impressed them with my trifle. I told them I'd treat them to mushy peas next time! Jenn played her violin for me for the first time, and I was impressed that she could play a few simple songs only a month after picking up the violin for the first time. Something tells me she's going to be quite decent at playing it.

Later on, Gilly picked me up and we took Mom to the movies to see The Water Horse. It was a really cute movie, and we all enjoyed it. The cast was the same cast that did the movie Millions, and they were very good. I hope to see more films by them later.

Alright, I'm sleepy now, so I'm going to go to bed, finally.

Assholes get away with a lot of things, and it's driving me crazy. I had two gang up on me tonight when I tried to stand up for what's right.

I had just come from a frustrating experience trying to clean up Mom's apartment enough to cook and eat Christmas dinner tomorrow. I left Gilly to it and decided to take Gilly's car back to Ellen and Brian's and make trifle and enjoy some peace.

As I left Mom's building, I noticed a Today's Taxi cab parked in a disabled parking space. There were about 15 empty regular spaces in the vicinity, but he had parked in the reserved spot. It's bad enough when one asshole does this, but it's far worse when someone who drives for a living thinks it's OK to park in such spaces. I got in Gilly's car, pulled up in front of him, and shouted out the window that he was in a disabled space and shouldn't be parked there. He yelled back that it was none of my business and what was I going to do about it? So I put my car in park and sat back, rolling the window up. He waved his arms and kept shouting at me. I picked up my phone and called the taxi dispatcher, reported his cab number and what was happening. I can't recall whether he was cab 42 or 24, but it was a white Chevy Impala. She was surprised he was behaving that way, and said he wasn't even on duty so didn't know what he was doing there. I got out and told him I reported him to dispatch, and said I hoped he would end up in a wheelchair himself someday. I called him an asshole. As I returned to my car, he yelled from his window, "Are you talking to your father?" I yelled that my father just died, and anger welled up in me and I kicked his bumper. I got in my car and tried to leave, but he jumped out and stood in front of me, talking on his cell phone and reading off my licence plate number. I inched forward but he didn't budge, and I wasn't about to hit him. I went into reverse to drive out around him, and heard a crunch.

Another Today's Taxi, number 35, a black minivan of some sort, had been parked in a regular spot nearby. He had pulled up right behind me, so close I couldn't even see headlights, and I had backed into him. I got out of the car and that guy started screaming and swearing at me. He said he expected me to go forward, and wouldn't admit that he was fully aware that his colleague was right in front of me and there was nowhere for me to go. Clearly he had been intentionally blocking me in. So he's screaming at me, and I pointed out there wasn't a scratch on either vehicle and asked what he wanted. I offered insurance information and such, and he said he wanted the police. "Fine," I said, and turned to asshole #1 and asked him if the police were on their way. He refused to answer, and instead kept giving me the finger, telling me to "sit on this, bitch", and then lunging at me with clenched fists and verbally threatening to hit me. He was right up in my face, and I wanted to hit him myself. Instead, I reached out (not far, he was that close to me) and tried to pull his hat over his face. It came off in my hand and I threw it aside. He growled that the other guy witnessed what I'd done, and I said he could go ahead and hit me and his buddy would also be a witness to that. I asked again if the police were on their way, got more "sit on this bitch", and turned to get in my car to wait. I sure as hell wasn't going to leave and end up being accused of hit and run. Somewhere in all this he managed to get in his car and drive out around my car so he wouldn't get caught in the disabled space when the cops arrived.

Just as I opened the car door, the first cop showed up. I thanked the officer for coming so quickly, and started to tell him what happened, at which point the two guys started shouting over me. The cops told them to go to their cars, and I gave my story. I started crying at this point, freaked out by how far this whole stupid thing had gone. The cop asked if I had kicked the guy's car, and I admitted doing so, explaining my rage at him having touched a nerve about my recently deceased father. I got most of the way through the report and he decided to talk to the other guys.

So I waited in my car as instructed, and then listened through the windows to the guys shouting their stories to the cop. Two other cops arrived in separate cars, and I poked my head out and asked one of them to come over. I told him about the guy threatening to hit me, and he asked if I took his hat. Again, I admitted it. I was crying a lot and he asked if I was OK, and I said no. I gave him the nutshell version of my year and told him about my post-traumatic stress disorder. I told him all I intended to do was park the guy in for a minute to get my point across while I reported him to his company, and that he and his buddy had escalated it by trapping me in retaliation for my trapping him. I just wanted to get home and prepare for Christmas dinner and go to bed. He said to sit tight, and asked for the usual ID and insurance info.

For the next few minutes I listened to an Australian cop argue with asshole #2 about his claim that I made his radiator blow up when I hit him. The cop pointed out that there was a very slight dent on my licence plate where it had made contact with the edge of the taxi's plate, and clearly I had not travelled far or hit him very hard. The guy swore up and down that I had done serious damage, and the cop said no, it was a warm day followed by a flash freeze, and clearly he had not maintained his car properly, resulting in the blowout that made his radiator fluid pour out all over the place. I'm really glad the cops stood by me so firmly. As much as I was panicking, I knew they knew that I was telling the truth. After all, I had admitted to kicking the car and throwing the guy's hat, and those are offences for which I could have been arrested. The first cop later told me I could have been charged with mischief and assault, but he talked the guy out of it. He wrote up a non-reportable accident report (sounds weird) stating that there was no visible damage and that there was no damage over $1000. I was given asshole #2's insurance information and I was allowed to leave. I was advised that Today's Taxi would likely not do anything about all this, although the dispatcher said the manager would call me in the morning. Now I just have to worry about the other guy's attempt to claim his car problems as my fault when dealing with the insurance company. Something tells me this guy is going to try to come after me in some way, I'm just hoping he'll give up on it. The cop said it was a case of everyone being stressed about the holidays, and I pointed out that these guys were Arabic and had their major holiday last month. He said one of them is getting ready to go on a vacation, and I said "It must be nice. Some of us have trouble paying rent and buying food." He had no comment on that, and obviously got my point.

Asshole #1 had made the excuse that he was parked in the disabled spot because he had a lot of groceries to carry in, and that he had his kids with him and didn't want them to get cold. However, there were many empty regular spot available, no kids visible, and he was sitting in his idling car when I came out of the building. He did get out of his car and put something in the trunk, but then he got back in the car and sat idling again. The only instance in which I would not have been offended would be if he was picking up or dropping off a disabled person or was just turning around or something. However, he was just sitting there idling, occupying the space. He appeared to have no intention of moving, and only moved his car because I told him the cops would give him a ticket if they arrived and found him in that space. As it turned out, the cop said he couldn't ticket for that because it's a different jurisdiction that covers that. Argh!!!

I hate assholes that get away with shit, especially when they tell outright lies to try to get me in shit. Yeah, I kicked his car, and it left no mark. I also took his hat when he was inches from my face, threatening to hit me. And his parking in a disabled space IS my fucking business. My mother has been in a wheelchair for 17 years, and aside from that, he's a professional driver that needs to be made aware of the importance of those designated spaces.

I hope they both get fired. This probably makes me an asshole too, but at least I'm an asshole with a purpose.