I just had a phone conversation with a real bitch, the newsletter editor of the Newcomers' Club. When I joined in the fall, I got a warm welcome and people kept asking me for ideas on how to get younger women to stay in the group. I said the events they were already running were good for the existing members, but they were not suitable for people who work because most events were during the day or at suppertime. I offered to run some events, and they were thrilled. I planned a few events, but wasn't getting a big turnout (1 or 2 people each time, not worth the effort). So I was already planning events for a couple other social groups I'm involved with, so I started posting the same events to all three groups, including Newcomers'. I was getting praise from the club for planning such interesting events, and it worked well for me because I didn't waste time on things people weren't going to show up for.

Anyway, this Kay that does the newsletter clearly dislikes me. She's always "politely rude" in the way that old women can be. I just brushed it off in the past, and just sent her my events to add to the newsletter. But then, she was hiding them in the back, in small print, as if they were afterthoughts. As a result, people stopped calling me for events altogether. I spoke to her about it, and asked her to treat my events like everyone else's, putting them on the group calendar. She didn't like that.

Tonight she phoned me about the latest set I sent her, and she told me she didn't want to put them in the newsletter because they're not "just for Newcomers". I tried to explain, she kept cutting me off and shouting over me, and I hung up on her. It's people like her that make good groups fall apart. I had previously told the president of the club about Kay's rudeness, so I sent her another e-mail telling her about what happened tonight and saying that I refuse to deal with her any more, and that I'm hopeful that the next newsletter editor that will take over in the fall will be easier to communicate with.

Speaking of vexing people, I am happy to report that Mom is back in her own condo and life is returning to normal for a few days. We'll be going to Menopause Out Loud and Puppetry of the Penis with her on Saturday, and bringing her back here on Sunday for one night so she can visit Grampa. I'll take her home on Monday when I go back for the sleep group.

Last night i went on a date in Markham, with a guy I met online. He seemed alright online, didn't have an awful lot to say but I figured he was just shy. Well, we went for dinner at Korean Grill, and I'm glad at least the food was good. The guy was so shy he hardly said anything. I would ask him about hobbies and he said he didn't have any. I asked what sorts of things he does on vacation, and he said he drives across Canada but doesn't do anything, just drives across and back. Uuhhh... yeah. I asked about things on his life "to do" list, and like most people he said he didn't have one, but surprisingly he didn't see the point in pondering the question of what he might like to accomplish before he dies. He actually appeared to be terrified of me, and was visibly shaking at one point. Nice enough, but zero personality. Next, please!

Last Thursday Mom phoned me at 1AM and said Grampa had collapsed getting out of the car when a friend dropped him off after a Masonic Lodge meeting. He had a 9-centimetre aortic aneurysm between his stomach and his spine, and it burst. Nobody knew it was there before then. He's never been sick a day in his life, despite having smoked heavily for the past 65 years. He was rushed to Guelph General Hospital and surgeons operated until 4AM. He survived against the odds, and was sedated and on a ventilator until yesterday.

Now, I've never had a relationship with the man, so i'm not emotionally attached. I'm glad of this, because I'd be a basket case right now if I cared all that much. I did drive to Newmarket on very icy roads and arrived at 4AM to bring Mom back the next day. She's been staying with us all week, sleeping in Gilly's bed and Gilly sleeping on a spare twin mattress on the living room floor. Mostly Mom has been tolerable, although we have had to be firm with her on a couple of tantrums she's thrown this week. Surprisingly, she got into doing our dishes four nights in a row. The first, largest batch was done when we went out without her on Saturday night. We came home and she'd done a week's worth of dishes. She's always saying she can't stand or walk, yet she stood there for at least half an hour washing our dishes. We were grateful, and very surprised when she did the dishes for the following three days as well.

Her behaviour toward the rest of her family has been atrocious. Uncle Pete has Power of Attorney for Grampa, and following the doctor's advice he gave them full permission to resuscitate. Mom immediately wanted to sign a DNR, and I agreed until I spoke to Pete and heard the doctor's reasons for not doing so yet. Being Mom, she has called Pete repeatedly, ordering him to sign a DNR. She called Dave the child molestor and got him to go along with her, which was easy considering the guy's an idiot and he's also only heard Mom's twisted version of the story. She called Grampa's sister, Lorraine, and convinced her a DNR was right, but Lorraine then called Pete and found out the real situation and realised that Mom was completely off base.

So Mom's been getting madder and madder, and keeps calling relatives and trying to get people to force Pete to do it her way. She keeps calling Pete and harassing him. A few days ago I dropped her at the hospital and went to the gym for a couple hours, and she was driving the nurses crazy trying to sign a DNR. They kept telling her only Pete could do that, but Mom wouldn't accept that answer.

On Sunday afternoon, Mom threw a tantrum in the car as we left the hospital because we refused to take her to visit Dave, who lives in Guelph. "The least you could do for me is take me to see him!"

Ali: "The least I could do is drive to Newmarket at 4AM on ice-slicked roads to bring you to your father who I don't even know."

Mom: <blink blink> "The least you could do for me is take me to see him!"

Ali: "The least we could do is drop everything and bring you here and let you stay with us and sleep in Gilly's bed while she sleeps on the floor, and drive you to Guelph every day."

Mom: "The least you could do for me is take me to see him!"

Ali: "You know, if it was Dave that had collapsed, I wouldn't have picked you up and brought you here. That's how much I hate him."

She didn't respond after that. I guess she realised I was serious. Gilly was driving at the time, but seemed glad I pushed the issue and got Mom to understand that no meant NO. That evening, Mom called Dave and she was screaming at him into the phone. "No, I don't have a way to get there! Yes I do have to rely on my daughters! No they WON'T drive me out there! No, I CAN'T get there! There's nothing I can do!" She was screaming, and it was 11PM. Three times I told her to keep it down or she'd upset my neighbours. She has had another couple of loud screaming phone calls since then, and at one point I had to hide the phone just to get her to stop for a while.

On Monday I called the hospital and asked for a social worker to speak with mom. They said they would page one when we went in for a visit. It was only yesterday we finally got to see a social worker named Julie. Mom got to have her say and I explained Pete's side of it. Julie offered to set up a meeting with the whole family and the doctor to explain everything. I mentioned Mom's fears being escalated due to Dad dying last year, and that brought on a different discussion. Julie asked if Mom is OK living on her own, and if she has anyone going in to help her and check on her. Mom said no, she's JUST FINE. I expressed my concerns, and Julie said she really should have someone going in to help her regularly. She got Mom to give her permission to call CCAC in Newmarket and have them try to convince her to get a cleaner and some other help. Mom then went on to say the I "stole" her driver's licence. It was then that I told her for the first time that the family doctor was the one who took it away. She didn't bat an eye, and just said that he only did it because I told him a pack of lies. When I told her I got a witness in to support my claims, she said I was lying and that nobody could possibly have seen anything that would indicate she's a bad driver. I didn't tell her who the witness was, and she didn't ask because she was so determined I was lying.

All the way home from hospital I told Mom
stories of things she did when manic that she couldn't remember, and
she listened but still insisted those things couldn't possibly happen
any more and that there's no reason she needs anyone to come in and
help her clean, cook, do laundry, and so on. Fortunately she
didn't keep attacking once we got home, as she is still staying here for a few more
days. I'll be taking her home on Sunday and leaving her there. We're all looking forward to her going home, and Mom has expressed that she prefers being in her own space and feels as if she is "living in our pockets". I agree. I'm
exhausted!

Today I took Mom's car the the mechanic as it was making a disturbing squeaking noise from the rear wheels. It turns out the brake cylinders needed replacing, so we've been waiting for the work to be finished. We went for a swim in our basement pool this afternoon, and she really enjoyed it. She complained of being cold when she got out so I suggested she try the sauna. She hadn't been in a dry sauna before, and she loved it. She hates the steam kind with the eucalyptus smell. We sat and warmed up and chatted, and now we're having lunch. Mom wanted bread and piles of jam, and I said I'd cook her some bacon as we had some in the fridge. She's happily chowing down on bacon and eggs and toast, although I can hear her complaining that the jam lid is stuck!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHH
HHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can't believe the kind of day it's been! I test-drove two cars, and liked both, and have now decided which one to buy. A 1997 Ford Focus GL wagon, green, grey interior, lots of toys on it (including air conditioning), 2-year warranty with a low deductible, certified, e-tested, licensed, and taxes included for $3600. I'm going to call the dealer tomorrow morning to confirm my decision, as I said I wanted to sleep on it to be sure. My uncle Pete referred me to this dealer, and says he's the most honest guy he knows. I think this purchase is a decent bet.

Then I came home, and Gilly mocked me because my pants were hanging so loose she could see my undies sticking up all the way around. I weighed myself, and was several pounds less than I expected to be, especially given a number of dietary and hormonal factors that combined could be tacking on up to ten pounds in retained water. I'm all psyched about going to the gym tomorrow.

Gilly went out tonight and came home with the announcement that among the large crowd of newbies in the local singles' club that showed up at coffee tonight, there was an Asian hottie computer guy who wears lots of red clothing and rides a motorcycle. We joked that he'd be perfect for me.

I ran downstairs to check the mail, and I found a letter from my lawyer stating that he had received and forwarded my psychiatrist's report, but had not yet received a report from my family doctor. He asked that I contact him after March 12.

The next letter I opened was from the CPP Disability review board. According to the federal government, I AM OFFICIALLY DISABLED. WOOHOO! I know, it's an odd thing to be happy about, but it takes away some worries. I won't get any more money out of it, but what it means is that when my ODSP comes up for review in a year and a half they'll automatically renew it because CPP already said I'm disabled. Sometime in the future CPP will review me again, but it takes longer for them to check on you because they require a greater level of disability in order to approve an applicant.

So I'm doing a happy dance now when I should be in bed. My eyelids are drooping but my brain is buzzing. I must celebrate. I must... get myself another big glass of water, because I'm really freaking thirsty.

I feel dirty, in a bad way.

I dropped by the car dealership closest to here, and asked about station wagons. The guy showed me a Taurus wagon and said I could have it for $1300 as is. I said if he could dig it out, I'd test drive it and show the mechanic. He said "No, it's AS IS. No mechanic." He acted as if this was normal, to buy a car without having it inspected. So I walked out.

SO SLIMY!!!

I know, I've been absent a long time. I've been preparing my Mexico photos for upload. The trip was good overall, and Gilly has made a journal about it that I assume she plans to type up. Highlights:

- Swimming topless in the ocean with Mom and Gilly, and getting a sunburn so bad, my left boob has only recently stopped oozing pus and blood. Flashed a couple of guys on the beach and allowed them to take photos.

- Snorkeling in underground rivers in Xcaret.

- The 2-hour evening show at Xcaret, which included a Pok-ta-pok game, fireball (field hockey on fire), and a full history of Mexican culture with fantastic music, costumes, and dancing.

- Parasailing.

- Discovering "green juice", a drink made from chaya, celery, cucumber, and fruit juice.

- Drinking many fruity drinks randomly throughout the day.

- Market 28, where we spent far too much money.

- Day trip to Chichen Itza.

- Swimming a Ik-Kil cenote.

In other news, my mother phoned yesterday and said she asked the doctor outright if he was stalling on writing the letter to reinstate her driver's licence because he didn't want her to drive, or if he was just genuinely busy. He told her he was very sorry, that he was just very busy. He quickly followed up by asking how her relationship with her daughters is lately. "Pretty good," she told him. He said he had been concerned about our relationship, and was glad to hear things were going well. Mom still never clued in.

So, back to normal busy life. Swap meets this weekend and next. meeting with a buyer interested in four pricey engines, going to Yuk Yuk's tomorrow night, planning a pole dancing party, going to the gym, choir, bellydance, women's self-help group, counselling, sleep group, and various other things going on. I also finally got the apartment clean enough to vacuum. Bought a Swiffer Wetjet and need to put it together and use it as the kitchen and bathroom floors are really gross. Came home from Choir Tuesday night to find Gilly had done all the dishes except for the pots and pans. I need to get to them this afternoon. Yay for Gilly doing the dishes!

But first, I need some lunch, and a nap. Or perhaps I can put lunch on to cook and wash the pots while I wait. Reward myself with nappage afterward.

Mom seems to have settled after a couple of days of me avoiding contact with her. We spoke tonight and she didn't say much of anything, then she said "So I'll see you tomorrow afternoon, right?" So I'm going to Cancun.

In case you need some entertainment in my absence, do some shopping online. I'd be happy to receive a number of these items. You figure out which ones!

http://www.sextoyparty.com/strangesextoys.html

Also, who knew the "Anal Invader" was a Christian sex toy?

http://mybelovedsgarden.net/

Interesting. I can't stand Dr. Phil, but I did the test anyway. It's pretty accurate.

I scored 51 on Dr. Phil's personality test
Others
see you as an exciting, highly volatile, rather impulsive personality;
a natural leader, one who's quick to make decisions, though not always
the right ones. They see you as bold and adventuresome, someone who
will try anything once; someone who takes chances and enjoys an
adventure. They enjoy being in your company because of the excitement
you radiate.

It's official, my van is going to the scrap yard. I've been a car owner for a total of 8 months of my life. Now trying to figure out what to do.

Mom is now on the warpath again. She sees a vulnerability and she's trying to draw me back into her vortex. tonight she phoned and got nasty, so I basically told her to fuck off (in different words of course). I said if she was going to be nasty I wouldn't go to Cancun with her. I'm dead serious, and I could actually see possibly backing out to avoid the hell. All I have to do is not show up.

Tonight I had an accident on my way home from Toronto. I was on the 401 just west of Guelph Line when I lost control and hit the median really hard. My engine quit and I coasted to a stop in the left emergency lane. I'm not hurt at all, and no other cars were involved. However, the damage to the front end is extensive, and I don't know if it can be fixed, or if I can afford to fix it. I don't have collision insurance, so it's not covered at all. Fortunately I have an uncle near the accident site that has an auto body shop, and he's going to see what he can do and how cheaply he can do it. Argh. So I may end up carless, or at least back in a bunch of debt again right after Mom paid off what I owed. Crap. We'll see what happens.

One of the benefits of having your sister as your roommate is that you can freely walk around the apartment with no pants on. My navel ring is missing a ball, and until my envelope of new balls arrives in the mail my pants cause me moderate discomfort by grinding the bare steel end of the ring into my flesh. So yes, I was without pants.

I was hungry and sought out a snack before bed. With a lack of decent options available to me a the moment, I elected to have imitations Sugar Crisp. Being all out of milk, I moistened said cereal with chocolate milk for the most nutritious bedtime snack since deep-fried cheesecake.

So I settled down at the dining room table, quietly enjoying my cereal. Quietly, except for the "parumph, parumph" noise emanating from beneath me in the aftermath of gorging myself on Gilly's tasty crock-pot ribs at supper time. This being a normal occurrence, nothing was said. When I was nearly finished my cereal, Gilly groaned, "Aaawww... you're sitting on a placemat!"

Only we could attain such joy from the utterance that sentence. I instantly laughed so hard I cried, releasing laughter farts all over the placemat. I tried to finish my cereal but couldn't, and then had to run out of the room before I peed on the placemat. Why was the placemat on the chair to begin with? We'd finally gotten around to washing them (we don't eat at the table often) and it had been air-drying on the back of the chair. This fresh, clean placemat now has the fresh, clean ass scent. I'm not sure whether my friends/readers will find this funny, but it will certainly be one of those entries that I'll stumble across in future and laugh as hard as I did when it first happened.

This past week has been all about recovery from the cold and flu Gilly and I have been suffering from, respectively. I was sick last week before going to Scout camp, and seemed to improve over the weekend. I was taking Cold FX for the first time, and the fact that I got better while camping in the snow with a terrible cold makes me think perhaps it was useful. I'll have to try it again sometime and see if it works again.

Camp was fun, although it was strange to stand back and let everyone else do the work for me. All I did was drive up and unlock the van doors, and all the unloading, carrying, cooking, washing, water-dragging, snow-building, and so on was done by the kids. At a loss for what to do, I stood around and took pictures and laughed my ass off at the crazy things the kids said and did. I had a really great time despite being sick and sleeping through half of Saturday, and I won't hesitate to go to camp with the troop again. I still have no desire to be a full-time Scouter, but going along as a spare person so the female Scouts can participate is alright with me.

Other news to be added is that I got a discounted membership at the Y, and I went for my first workout a couple of days ago. I was going to go yesterday but was sidetracked because Gilly became ill at work and called me for help, and today we were snowed in and I didn't want to try to drive to the gym. I'll go this weekend, and I can book my first appointment with a trainer to show me all the machines and stuff. Yay!

Also, Mom informed me that she got a 2000 Pound death benefit from the British government, and she has sent me a new cheque to replace the one she told me to rip up. Yay!