An update to the "confidential" letter:

A mutual friend spoke to the guy who wrote the letter, and the guy was mortified. He said he didn't realise that he would upset Mom, and he felt terrible about it. He said he didn't know what possessed him to write that second paragraph, and he would write an apology letter and then never approach my mother again unless she approached him first.

It turns out that there were three occasions when my mom made jokes to him about being available. Had she done it only once, he would have ignored it, but three times in a row that he saw her she made the same comment, so he interpreted that as interest. My mother just doesn't have a clue that she can't keep making jokes like that!

On Friday my mom checked her mail, and found this letter taped to her mailbox. She lives in a condo and the mail room is in the "secure" part. We both know this guy, he's 38ish and weird and very skittish. It's both funny and creepy. Names obscured for privacy purposes. I told her if he shows up again, she should call the police.

I actually went to the Tim's at the meeting time to see if he showed up, but he didn't. I was all ready to have a chat with him and tell him to stay the hell away from my mother!

Tonight I violated the rule about not picking up strangers. Gilly and I had just left the movie theatre in Waterloo, and were driving down King Street on our way home. As we passed through the downtown, we saw two women standing in the street, waving frantically at us. Thinking they were in trouble, we stopped and asked if everything was OK.

"We're stranded here, I worked all day and then picked up my daughter in K-W and we stopped at Valu-Mart, but they're closed and we're really really cold. Will you please give us a ride? I'm so sorry to bother you."

Gilly and I looked at each other, not sure what to say. Gilly asked me what I thought, since she was driving but we were in my car. I hesitated, but we were blocking traffic and needed a decision. I looked at the scraggly-looking, shivering woman, and told her to get in. I reached back and grabbed Gilly's purse off the seat, and the two women climbed in. Gilly instantly tried to roll up the car windows to keep the heat in, and I fought her because the woman smelled strongly of smoke and I needed the air in order to breathe.

"Thank you so much for this," the first woman said. She repeated her story, then asked if we could stop and get some food for her daughter who she said was diabetic. The requested McDonald's as we were driving past it. So, seeing the rail thin girl who was complaining that her hands were very painful from the cold, we agreed to stop for some food. It was difficult to tell her age as she was so thin and she spoke as if she was mentally disabled to some extent. She sounded like a child, but was clearly fully grown. Gilly and I figure she was probably about 20 years old.

"Mom, do we have enough money for a burger?" the girl asked. Her mother told her to just get a $1.39 burger off the value menu. "But I want a combo!" The woman asked if we could spot them some change if they were short of being able to pay their bill, and we said no. She didn't push us on that one.

So we pulled into the drive-thru and wound down the back window so the girl could order what she wanted. After changing her mind several times, the girl ordered a chicken sandwich combo with up-sized fries and root beer, and a caramel sundae. Diabetic my ass! Then her mother ordered three double cheeseburgers, one without cheese but with lots of extra pickles, an orange pop, and an order of cinnaparts. The bill came to $20.14, and the girl became very agitated and started whining about the price, saying they must have gotten the order wrong or something. She didn't want to settle down, and the mother apologised to us for her daughter's behaviour. The girl said "Yes, sorry, I'm a big screw-up."

We waited several minutes while they counted out money and then waited for the food. I commented that I hoped we'd be leaving soon because we were burning a bunch of gas sitting there. "I'm sorry about this," said the mother.

The food was handed out and Gilly started to drive away, forgetting the drinks. As we drove toward the parking lot the woman asked if we could drop her at the convenience store to buy smokes and then take the daughter home. That was the last straw. "Look, we're taking you both home and that's it. We're doing you more than a big favour here, we're not a taxi, and we're not making any extra stops," I said. The woman tried to insist, and Gilly flipped on her and said no. She got out of the car to run in and get the missing drinks, and I commented to the daughter that if they have money for smokes, they have money for a cab. She told us in her child-voice that she hates smoking, and wishes her mom didn't do it.

The woman returned with the drinks, and she said she had actually asked us to drop them both at home, and she was just telling her daughter that she would run down the block and buy smokes. I repeated my statement that if she had money for smokes she had money for a cab.

Woman: "But it's not my money, it's my daughter's."

Me: "So you're spending your daughter's money on smokes."

Woman: "It's not for my smokes, it's for my husband."

Me: "So you're spending your daughter's money on smokes for your husband."

Woman: "Well, he doesn't have any left and I can't leave him Jonesing all night."

I told her that regardless, if the money was there to spare for smokes, she could have paid for a cab. She apologised for bothering us, then asked if I wanted some change for gas. I think she thought I was going to turn down the offer, but I said "Yes, that would be nice, after all this time and trouble."

So we dropped them off at their home, which fortunately was around the corner from our place. The woman gave me $5 in change, saying that her husband would be upset that she gave is his cigarette money, and I didn't respond. I just thanked her for it and told her to keep warm.

Gilly and I drove away and started laughing and tearing apart her story.Gilly exclaimed, "Let's never do that again!"

At least we have a good story to tell. So much for trying to be a good Samaritan!

This photo describes my life exactly.

more animals

Just got back from a few days in Newmarket. Visited with Ellen and Brian, spent a couple of evenings with Jenn and family, had lunch with Luc and coffee with Stacey and Danny. All in all it has been a very nice week. I even got some Christmas shopping done.

Then I decided to spend this afternoon with my mom before I left, as I hadn't even spoken with her since Sunday. As is usually the case, she did a couple of very nice things to get my guard down, then attacked full force with all bullying and bitterness.

All afternoon my mom has been harassing me, saying nasty things about me dating "G". She says I sicken her because he's married, and it's illegal. (What I didn't mention before is that he's working out a separation agreement with his very abusive soon-to-be-ex wife, and in the meantime they're stuck sharing a house until he can buy her out so she can afford an apartment.) At one point I snapped on her. We were sitting in an empty restaurant waiting for our meals to come, and she was going on about it. I said "Yes, I'm dating a married man and I'm a home wrecker, and we have lots and lots of crazy sex just to piss you off!" Two staff were nearby and laughed.

She just refuses to believe that their marriage is over. Never mind the fact that she was still married to
her first husband when she moved in with my dad and got pregnant the
first time. "But that's different,"
she says. "We were legally separated." She always talks about Gran disliking her because she was divorced, and about Gran's refusal to visit until after my parents were married. They wanted her there for the wedding, but she refused because she didn't approve of them "living in sin".

I was telling her about Christmas plans, how it's going to work out for timing between our family and Al's. Anyway, G is welcome at Ellen and Brian's for Christmas, and I believe I've mentioned this to him in passing but we haven't discussed whether he plans to go to Newmarket with me. All he said was he doesn't mind who he spends the day with, as long as it's enjoyable. So anyway, my mom just called me and said G is not allowed at her place for Christmas, but Al is because he's family. I told her if he does come into town, there's no way I'm going to leave him sitting on his own while I go open presents and so on. She was insistent that he's not allowed at her place, no way, "he's not my cup of tea". So I told her if he happens to be in town on Christmas morning and she won't allow him to join us, then I won't be there. I'll have a nice morning with Ellen and Brian. They're slightly wary of my involvement with him, but they're open to meeting him and wouldn't be so rude and judgemental.

Of course, I don't want to give him this whole story too soon and make him think it's too much hassle to bother to join us. I wish my mother wasn't so fucking selfish! I've never had a Christmas with a significant other, and although this is not intended to be a permanent or long-term thing, the fact is I care about him and would really like to include him in Christmas. I just hope she changes her mind as I don't really want to skip Christmas with her. However, I don't want her to be gloating and bullying during Christmas either, so if she's going to be that way she can shove it.

All the jokes about my body suddenly changing after my 30th birthday have always been just jokes. Until now, that is.

I just found my first, and second, grey hairs!

Didn't pull them, was just surprised and laughed. Perhaps it's time to get out the leopard-print pants and leather jacket and head out to the cougar bar. Which, actually, was what I always said I'd do on my 30th birthday, but I haven't done yet. Must do that soon.

I am now officially 30 years old! My fourth decade began yesterday. Despite Graham's dire warnings that my body would fall apart, I woke up with all body parts attached and functioning. I spent that daytime in a normal fashion: getting my teeth cleaned by my hunky new dentist, grocery shopping, doing laundry, emptying the recycling, doing the dishes, and intending to go to the gym but not actually getting there. (I was doing so well until I took my east coast trip this summer, but now I go to the gym about twice weekly, and weight train only once weekly. Must fix that!) The real birthday stuff happened in the evening.

I had a coupon for a free movie admission valid only on my birthday, so Gilly and I saw Zack and Miri Make a Porno. I had expected it to be funny, but oh man, it was hilarious! Gilly and I laughed out loud many times, right from the beginning of the film. Typical Kevin Smith fare. I recommend you see it.

After the movie, we went to bellydance class. it was our last class in this session, and our last class with Reggie until the fall. We had fun but also had a poignant slightly teary moment as we left, as Reggie is ill and will be leaving us for medical treatment for quite some time. We will stay in touch by internet and possibly see her at some point, and she's running the Shimmy-a-thon again in February, and we're definitely going to that.

After dinner, we met Al at Casey's restaurant so I could get my cheap birthday meal. They give you up to $15 off an entree on your birthday. It was good, and we had a good chat, and then came home and ate chocolate-covered sponge toffee. Mmmm....

So it was a good birthday. However, celebrations have been stretched out all week. Last week I was in Newmarket, and Mom loaded me up with presents such as a food processor (something I'd asked for), a bellydance costume, some chocolate, and a Pennington's gift card. On Saturday night I had a party at the Penny Whistle pub in Guelph, which was awesome. About 15 people showed up, including friends from Newmarket and Scarborough that I haven't seen in ages. I was already drunk when I got there, thanks to Chris' previous gift of 84% rum that I had been drinking at home. My friends were buying me drinks at the bar, and the waiter brought me a Sicilian Kiss shot as well. Very yummy! I missed the spectacle of the large stack of dishes being dropped and broken while I was in the ladies' room, but was thoroughly amused by the chaotic mess when I came out and saw the aftermath. We stayed there until about 11:30PM, at which pont we headed to the Manor for some stripping entertainment.

Unfortunately the Manor no longer has male stripers. We found this out when we arived. We decided to go in anyway, an I'm glad we did. It was fun watching the girls dance, and realising that I do some of those same moves in bellydance. Chris was promptly coaxed into a private room by one of the girls, and he came out some time later with a disgusted look on his face. The stripper has encouraged him to touch her breasts, and he was horrified at the feeling of the hard implants. She tried to get him to go upstairs with her, and he was so grossed out he refused. She said "Merci" as he was leaving. He said "Oh, you're bilingual. What language is that?"

"Spanish," she replied.

So I gave Chris a fully-clothed lap dance and humped his leg, and he laughed. As he was leaving the next morning, I wished him happy birthday in the elevator (his is a week before mine) and said "Here, grope some real boobs!" He took a good feel and everybody laughed. There were six of us in the elevator at the time, and we'd just come back from breakfast at Country Boy. So a good time was had by all!

On Wednesday Michelle took me out to Pizza Hut for lunch, since she was unable to make it to the party. It was great to have a chance to talk to her again, as we don't get to see each other much these days. She gave me a card with a duckling "whispering" in a cat's ear, which was quite funny to look at. We stuffed ourselves with pizza and stayed there long after the buffet closed.

Wednesday evening I went to an atheism meetup. I'm not an atheist, but my belief in a higher power is abstract and not tied to any particular religion. Graham has been telling me about the discussions they have, and it sounded interesting so I decided to check it out. I was the second person to arrive, and was chatting with Scott when the Guelph crowd came in together. Graham handed me a Peoples Jewellers box and said "happy birthday." I laughed when I opened it and found two belly rings inside! One was black with a bunch of rhinestones on it, and the other was silver with a blue-stoned lizard hanging from it. It was a great idea, as I don't wear much jewellery normally, but I'm always looking for interesting belly rings. The only trouble was my piercing is deep so I can't wear banana bells, and that's what these were, so when Graham asked about the size and so on being OK he said we can go back to the shop and see f we can exchange them for something that will fit. I liked the choices he made though, they were really cool!

So I'm 30 now, and I've really enjoyed the extended celebration with so many people I care about. I'd say this was one of the best birthdays I've ever had!

Construction is a good thing! That is, when it leads to a chain of fortunate events.

This morning I had to make sure my car was out of the garage before 9AM because they are pouring concrete curbs in front of the door. If I didn't get out in time, my car would be inaccessible for at least 24 hours. So I went out, not quite sure what I was going to do while I was out.

I started off picking up a prescription I ordered a week ago but hadn't gotten around to retrieving. I decided to get a car wash to celebrate the end of the construction filth. I went to the $5 Valet wash out on Victoria Street. It's a bit out of the way, but it's cheap and decent.

As I left the car wash, I noticed a sign that said "Used Tires", so I pulled in. I asked about winter tires for my car, and the guy said he was storing winter tires for a guy who had a Taurus but just sent his to the scrap yard. I left my name and number and the shop owner said he'd call and ask the guy if he can resell the tires to me. I'll probably know sometimes next week. w00t! I can get a set of winter rims for about $100 from any wrecker, too.

While I was there, I mentioned something about oil spraying. The guy pointed to a coupon for  place nearby that does it. I dropped in there on my way home for a quote, and they only wanted $59.95 for the whole spray, that's inside the doors and everything! I had two $5 off coupons, so I had mine done right away and prepaid Gilly's so I can drop in with it sometime soon.

I felt so good about the cheap oil spray and the lead on tires, I went to the gym and did a workout. When I got home there was one parking spot left right in front of my building. I came in and played with the cats, and now I can have some lunch and a nap to finish my morning right! Ham in the fridge for an easy supper, and bellydance tonight. Gilly and I often spend Thursday evening watching a movie on TV before going to dance, and that's always fun.

Yay for a great day!