July 5, 2010

  • With friends like this, who needs enemies?

    Went camping on the weekend. We left Wednesday and came back Sunday, spending the five days at Point Farms Provincial Park in Goderich.

    I have a friend who claims she has camped a fair bit with her family. Nobody else has ever bothered to take her camping, as she has a physcial disability and uses a wheelchair to get around most of the time. Being the kind of person I am, I have gone out of my way to make sure she is able to participate in trips and activities, and I bring her manual chair along. When we go out with a group, we take turns pushing the chair, and everything is fine. She always comments that she has never before had friends who didn't make a big deal out of her disability.

    May 24 weekend, she joined us camping for the first time. When I picked her up, she had a whole carload worth of gear packed. She'd packed her hairdryer and straightening iron, and bags of food even though we'd done shoping as a group and were also going to a place with plenty of stores nearby. I told her we didn't have enough space in the car, especially with her wheelchair in there, and started pulling things out. Well, when I made the 4 or 5 trips to the car with all her stuff, she took all the things I'd pulled out and put them back in. I had a hell of a time fitting everything in the car, as there was also my gear and someone else's in there. We ended up strapping stuff to the roof. Keep in mind I drive an extra-long station wagon with seats that fold down to extend the trunk space.

    That weekend, she went for a shower and spent a total of 2 hours preening herself. She was very upset that her hair dryer ended up not working so she couldn't dry her hair. She spent over an hour in front of the mirror putting on pancake makeup, which not only wasn't necessary, but actually looks bad as clumps of makeup on your face is simply not flattering on anyone. I fell asleep waiting for her, and had no idea how long she took until we got back to site and everyone asked where the hell we'd been.

    We cut her an awful lot of slack, given that it was really her first time camping for real. We expressed our frustration at her behaviour, then let it drop.

    So this camp, we figured it would be better. We have taken lots of princesses camping and they very quickly learn to relax, be a little dirty, and stop worrying about how they look.

    When I picked her up, She had packed a lot less than before, although still more than most. I had to give her credit for that. She brought no appliances and no food. For the first time, we took apart her electric wheelchair and had her superintendant help us put it in the car. Again, nobody had ever done this, but I figured it would be worth it so she could be more independant. We set off to camp, three of us in a car that was bursting at the seams.

    Two hours later we arrived in Goderich, just in time to see the fireworks. Al and Gilly has already set up the tents on site, so when we got back we made a campfire and had some s'mores. Good times.

    In the morning, Princess took off for a shower. I said she needed to aim for half an hour, because we wanted to get out and do things. She instantly became defensive and said she would be as fast as she could, but it would take longer than half an hour. I said it had better be a lot shorter than two hours, because that's just wasting all our time. She huffed at me and went in.

    I returned to site and had breakfast, and after 45 minutes Gilly, Natalie and I went to the washroom to urge Princess to pack up and get back to site. She said she still had to do her makeup, and she couldn't leave he washroom with her face bare. All three of us tried to convince her otherwise, but she became very agitated and insisted that she could not POSSIBLY be seen au naturel. We left, and 15 minutes later I returned. She was still staring into the mirror, and when I asked her to hurry up she threw a fit. She claims that she must cover her face because she has a physical disability, therefore she must make herself pretty, or some crap like that. She insisted that nobody would ever accept her without makeup, and that nobody could possibly ever have self-esteem issues like hers because they don't have disabilities.

    Seriously, this girl is gorgeous as she is. From her own accounts, guys get tired of her quickly because she is high-maintenance. So realistically, much of the rejection she experiences is due to her own refusal to work on her self-esteem issues.

    The subsequent 3 days, she got up early and showered, but still kept complaining about not liking the way her hair looked. She also kept telling me I was wasting time sleeping in the morning. She knows full well I have narcolepsy. For me, sleep is not only a biological need but a requirement of a physical disability. That is HUGELY different than choosing to hide out in the bathroom. Aside from that, every time we wanted to go somewhere, she took ages to be ready to go. In my case, I would wake up at 10AM, except for the one day I woke up paralysed and slept until 11AM), threw my clothes on immediately and grabbed some food. I didn't keep people waiting around. For that matter, in five days I was unable to get to the shower even ONCE, because the park was full and they had 4 shower stalls fo about 400 people, and we were in the radio-free area with all the families where germophobic mothers were herding all their kids to the bathroom to was their already-clean bodies. On Saturday I got to the point of being filthy beyond even my own tolerance level. Ten girls and women were lined up for showers, so I went in the laundry room, stripped naked, and washed my hair and body in the laundry basin. My clothes were foul and soaked with sweat and anything I had spilled on myself, so I hung them on the clothesline on site rather than stinking out the tent by stuffing them in my bag. That took about 20 minutes altogether, and I did it while the rest of the group was having a sit and a drink by the fire pit.

    I was a space cadet for parts of the weekend, which is not unusual for me but it was harder to manage this time. I recently switched my medication to one that is supposed to last longer, but as a result I haven't figured out my new nap schedule. I would just get to a point of uncontrollable yawning, but we'd be out somewhere. By the time we got back to site, we had to make dinner, so I'd sit in my haze but not fall asleep because I knew we'd be eating in just a few minutes. I only had one nap all weekend, and I spent much of my waking time confused and having trouble saying what I was trying to say.

    So yesterday we packed up, got things clean and put away, but Princess was nowhere to be seen when we went to pack my car. We couldn't put anything in the car until her chair was in, and I needed Al's help. He was packed and wanted to go, and was trying to convince me I dind't need his help. However, I was the largest girl there, and I had needed a lot of help from the guy who helpd me put it in in the first place. Princess had indicated to someone that she was going to the washroom, but had then headed off in the opposite direction. It turned out she had gone down to the beach. She didn't spend long there, but again, she kept us waiting and didn't tell anyone where she was going. It was brutally hot and we were tired and just wanted to get going.

    When she returned, Al put the chair in the car and left. We packed everything else in the car, made a washroom run, and got in to go. Then Princess said "I just want to take some pictures of the site. I wanted some while we were set up, but I didn't have time." Gee, maybe she would have had time if she hadn't been staring in the mirror so long! So she grabbed her camera and started taking pictures. Not one or two, but lots. Snap snap, walk a few steps, snap snap snap. I called out that it was time to go, and she said she was coming but kept on taking pictures of the empty campsite. Waited another couple of minutes, then started the engine. She gave me a dirty look, then started yelling at me. I told her to get in the car and argue, because we were leaving and that was that. She was furious, but sat in the back and stewed. Natalie and I changed the subject and chatted about whatever we could think of.

    We stopped in Clinton for some lunch, at a diner/bakery that I knew of. We were all intentionally avoiding anything that might lead back to The Argument, as we all just wanted to get home and be finished with it. However, Princess couldn't let it lie. While I was eating my dessert, the other two girls got up to pay their bills. Princess decided to "try to smooth things over" by telling me I needed to be more understanding. The nerve!

    I told her no, I had bent over backward for her, and that we were all annoyed by her behaviour. She kept saying what a good friend I am and that she had a good time, but then still went right back to saying I needed to cut her some slack. I told her I'd been camping with many a princess and not one had been so rude and wasted my time like she had. She kept trying to push, and I said that she had to make some changes in her own attitude. I then put an end to it by stating that I was finished talking about it, I was tired and the topic was closed. She didn't say much for the rest of the ride home. I dropped her off first, put her wheelchair together and Natalie and I piled up her stuff by the door to her building and left her to fend for herself. She asked for a hug and I did hug her, but didn't say much. I just wanted the hell out of there.

    Surprisingly, Natalie expressed her annoyance with Princess to me several times, including when we got back in the car. Natalie is the most easygoing person I know, and never complains about anything or anyone. It speaks volumes when she expresses annoyance!

    So here I am, still pissed off about it because I know Princess is going to open this up next time I see her. I don't want to end the friendship, but I'm not willing to put up with bullshit, either. She was talking on the weekend about coming camping with us on Labour Day, but honestly, I have no interest in taking her camping ever again.