December 11, 2008

  • Just got back from a few days in Newmarket. Visited with Ellen and Brian, spent a couple of evenings with Jenn and family, had lunch with Luc and coffee with Stacey and Danny. All in all it has been a very nice week. I even got some Christmas shopping done.

    Then I decided to spend this afternoon with my mom before I left, as I hadn't even spoken with her since Sunday. As is usually the case, she did a couple of very nice things to get my guard down, then attacked full force with all bullying and bitterness.

    All afternoon my mom has been harassing me, saying nasty things about me dating "G". She says I sicken her because he's married, and it's illegal. (What I didn't mention before is that he's working out a separation agreement with his very abusive soon-to-be-ex wife, and in the meantime they're stuck sharing a house until he can buy her out so she can afford an apartment.) At one point I snapped on her. We were sitting in an empty restaurant waiting for our meals to come, and she was going on about it. I said "Yes, I'm dating a married man and I'm a home wrecker, and we have lots and lots of crazy sex just to piss you off!" Two staff were nearby and laughed.

    She just refuses to believe that their marriage is over. Never mind the fact that she was still married to
    her first husband when she moved in with my dad and got pregnant the
    first time. "But that's different,"
    she says. "We were legally separated." She always talks about Gran disliking her because she was divorced, and about Gran's refusal to visit until after my parents were married. They wanted her there for the wedding, but she refused because she didn't approve of them "living in sin".

    I was telling her about Christmas plans, how it's going to work out for timing between our family and Al's. Anyway, G is welcome at Ellen and Brian's for Christmas, and I believe I've mentioned this to him in passing but we haven't discussed whether he plans to go to Newmarket with me. All he said was he doesn't mind who he spends the day with, as long as it's enjoyable. So anyway, my mom just called me and said G is not allowed at her place for Christmas, but Al is because he's family. I told her if he does come into town, there's no way I'm going to leave him sitting on his own while I go open presents and so on. She was insistent that he's not allowed at her place, no way, "he's not my cup of tea". So I told her if he happens to be in town on Christmas morning and she won't allow him to join us, then I won't be there. I'll have a nice morning with Ellen and Brian. They're slightly wary of my involvement with him, but they're open to meeting him and wouldn't be so rude and judgemental.

    Of course, I don't want to give him this whole story too soon and make him think it's too much hassle to bother to join us. I wish my mother wasn't so fucking selfish! I've never had a Christmas with a significant other, and although this is not intended to be a permanent or long-term thing, the fact is I care about him and would really like to include him in Christmas. I just hope she changes her mind as I don't really want to skip Christmas with her. However, I don't want her to be gloating and bullying during Christmas either, so if she's going to be that way she can shove it.